Patience

Earlier I discussed self-control, which relates to patience. If you have a fair amount of patience, it stands to reason that self-control will naturally come easier.

The more I consider patience, the more I think that it may relate to more than just calm and anger. What about the parent whose child is ill, who patiently waits for the medicine to finally start working, so they'll see their child's eyes light up again? What about every mom out there who waits and waits for the first word and the first few steps? Each of these moments reward our patience beyond measure. I think every mom would agree that every second of waiting is well worth the reward.

As the child grows, our patience becomes intertwined with our faith in our child. Patiently waiting for your adolescent to make the right decision, which you know in your heart will happen eventually, can seem grueling. They need you to be patient in order to grow and move forward. The question is, can you be as patient as they need?

The answer, of course, is no, not always. We all have moments when we can't wait patiently any more. We want, and need, our children to grow up and give us a moment's peace. I hope my children will understand my occasional impatience, which often threatens my self-control. I think that this impatience is also tied with our faith - we believe completely our kids can do what we need them to. Why can't they just hurry up and do it? As if it should be so easy for them. It wasn't easy for us.

"Patience is a virtue." I'm sick of hearing it, because I know it's true. I don't need someone's self-righteous advice. The people that tend to say it the most, in my experience, need to follow their own advice before chastising me. Just because I don't always accomplish my goals doesn't mean that I don't know what they are.

I would love to always be patient and understanding with my kids, but I know I'm not perfect. Does that mean I won't strive to be as patient with them, in all ways, as possible? Never. Knowing you're not perfect is not an admission of defeat or wrongdoing.

This has been a very tangled mess of an entry for me. I can't get my head wrapped around it, and it seemed in the beginning like such a simple idea. Maybe that's because my mother is always impatient; maybe it's because I feel like I'm failing at something that should be so easy. Either way, I know I need to work on it. I need to be more patient with my kids, my family, my very patient husband, and even the family cat.

I'm going to keep trying. In the meantime, could you give me some ideas of middle-of-the-road good traits for a mother? I've got some ideas for the big stuff, but I may not be ready to handle that yet.